I sank into a chair in the back of the auditorium tonight, glancing at the clock as I waited for an assembly to begin. An assembly not a single one of my children were a part of. Just the one child who dressed up like a famous writer, who was upstairs in the hallway outside his classroom. Tick. Tick. Tick. I counted, I watched the red glowing numbers change. My mind was far away, at the church where 6 more of MY boys were going to be shortly, where I was not, because I was here. Supporting the school my son's attend. I wasn't really bitter or irritated. I was just sad, sad at what those red numbers represented, time divided in half. I couldn't be in two places at once and I had to pull myself together. I enjoy this assembly, the last two years, the amazing work and effort put into an educational assembly, is one event I never miss now that I am apart of this school. Of course, it was a repeat of the first year. Me,sitting in a crowded auditorium, while my only child doing an interactive part of the assembly was outside in the hall, not an actual part of the performance. I leaned my head on my husband's shoulder, glancing at those red glowing numbers because my mind was in two places. Here in this overheated crowded room and there several blocks away.
Tonight was different, it was so different because tonight was the last night I would face 6 Webelos, who in one week would no longer be my scouts. In one week they were leaving me for a new adventure. They will be becoming boy scouts. Granted, I will see them from time to time. I go to those boy scout meetings, I sit in that room with them, I will always be a part of the scouting world. From energetic Tiger cub to ( I hope) Eagle. I picture those faces and I worry, I hope, that I am sending them forward, prepared for the next stage in their life. I hope, that I will get to watch them grow up and surpass all the expectations of life.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
The clock I stopped looking at as I watched and listened to children not my own sing, play and read now glows 7:15 and I have lost time, with 6 boys who were mine for such a short amount of time. Quickly,I gather myself together and climb the stairs to my child, he is standing proud in his page boy hat and makeshift suit, ready to read his piece about the artist he is. I smile. I press the "button" upon his shirt so he reads off his bio- playing the part of the wax statue. I listen, I video, I let him play his part. Tick.Tick. Tick. I haven't looked at the clock, there is no red glow to remind me of where I am not as the time flies away. My husband knows me so well, he knows that I am here, yet I am not here. I want to be there, somehow.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
I make it somehow to my other home,my other life, and the 6 okay 5 boys who are attending their very last meeting. I look at them, some dressed in their uniforms, some not, as they practice their flag ceremony. Going over and over in my head if I have made them ready to move on, to greater heights. They smile at me, they go through the movements. So proud of themselves and happy that I was able to make it in time. They sit down and I tell them how very proud i am of them. They beam those bright smiles at me, that suddenly become nervous. They are ready, yet so unsure. They want to move up and out and yet, yet they don't want to leave me. I tell them I will be there watching their journey, that someday, I hope to be standing there the day they exchange their Boy Scout neckerchief for that of Eagle. That even though their adventure in Cub scouts is over, they are still part of an amazing world, headed on a path to new adventures. The boy scout trail may be rugged and harder to climb, but it will be worth it.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Sometimes time moves by so quickly, too quickly. A blink and no longer is there any time left to finish tasks. In this case, I have only been these 6 boys den leader for 6 months. Not nearly enough time. Some I have watched grow, helped mold since they walked in that door, one as a wolf- the rest came as they are now, finishing out their cub scouting adventure nearly before it began. Yet, it's always the same, watching them soar away, beginning again somewhere new. Now their trail is made by them, their journey is mapped out by their own determination and willingness to learn.
I can only hope that I prepared them fully. That I helped build the foundation, whether they head out on that trail of green or off in a different direction.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Tonight was different, it was so different because tonight was the last night I would face 6 Webelos, who in one week would no longer be my scouts. In one week they were leaving me for a new adventure. They will be becoming boy scouts. Granted, I will see them from time to time. I go to those boy scout meetings, I sit in that room with them, I will always be a part of the scouting world. From energetic Tiger cub to ( I hope) Eagle. I picture those faces and I worry, I hope, that I am sending them forward, prepared for the next stage in their life. I hope, that I will get to watch them grow up and surpass all the expectations of life.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
The clock I stopped looking at as I watched and listened to children not my own sing, play and read now glows 7:15 and I have lost time, with 6 boys who were mine for such a short amount of time. Quickly,I gather myself together and climb the stairs to my child, he is standing proud in his page boy hat and makeshift suit, ready to read his piece about the artist he is. I smile. I press the "button" upon his shirt so he reads off his bio- playing the part of the wax statue. I listen, I video, I let him play his part. Tick.Tick. Tick. I haven't looked at the clock, there is no red glow to remind me of where I am not as the time flies away. My husband knows me so well, he knows that I am here, yet I am not here. I want to be there, somehow.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
I make it somehow to my other home,my other life, and the 6 okay 5 boys who are attending their very last meeting. I look at them, some dressed in their uniforms, some not, as they practice their flag ceremony. Going over and over in my head if I have made them ready to move on, to greater heights. They smile at me, they go through the movements. So proud of themselves and happy that I was able to make it in time. They sit down and I tell them how very proud i am of them. They beam those bright smiles at me, that suddenly become nervous. They are ready, yet so unsure. They want to move up and out and yet, yet they don't want to leave me. I tell them I will be there watching their journey, that someday, I hope to be standing there the day they exchange their Boy Scout neckerchief for that of Eagle. That even though their adventure in Cub scouts is over, they are still part of an amazing world, headed on a path to new adventures. The boy scout trail may be rugged and harder to climb, but it will be worth it.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Sometimes time moves by so quickly, too quickly. A blink and no longer is there any time left to finish tasks. In this case, I have only been these 6 boys den leader for 6 months. Not nearly enough time. Some I have watched grow, helped mold since they walked in that door, one as a wolf- the rest came as they are now, finishing out their cub scouting adventure nearly before it began. Yet, it's always the same, watching them soar away, beginning again somewhere new. Now their trail is made by them, their journey is mapped out by their own determination and willingness to learn.
I can only hope that I prepared them fully. That I helped build the foundation, whether they head out on that trail of green or off in a different direction.
Tick. Tick. Tick.